The Amazing Average-Guy Gets Promoted

     Whew. I'm back. It's only been a couple of weeks but it feels like a month. I got promoted to Assistant Manager where I work and with it came more training, more hours, more responsibility, more money and less sleep.

     And I love my sleep.

     Love it.

     I boldly laugh at my parents when they tell stories about I hated to go to sleep when I was a kid. How hard it was to get me to go to sleep. I don't think so. Have they met me? This actually may be evidence to prove that I was adopted. That I'm really a Kennedy and somehow I got switched at birth. Although why the  Kennedys would have had a child in Dayton, Ohio in 1970 is beyond me. And, maybe, with all the trouble the Kennedys have had over the years, perhaps it's not such a bad deal.

     So, yes. I got promoted. I am now Assistant Manager of a store in a well-known QSR chain. QSR stands for Quick Service Restaurant. I just don't like the term "fast food". There are so many negative connotations that come with it.

     With this new job comes the ability to see QSR operations in a whole new light. Behind the scenes stuff, if you will. I've done this kind of work for years and I'm one of the profound few who really and truly like the work. It's hard sometimes. It makes me want to scream sometimes. But I've felt for a long time... and perhaps this comes from my being a follower of Jesus Christ... that there is no greater honor in serving others. In restaurant work, I'm doing the very thing Jesus commanded me to do.

     And let me say again. The work is hard. It's not for everyone. People tend to treat this kind of career the same way they treat the Army. If you're "flippin' burgers", you can't do any better. You didn't do well in high school. Girlfriend's pregnant and you gotta get a job doing something. You're lazy and unmotivated.

I've heard it all. Believe me. And I graduated high school. Top 25 in my class. I went to college. Majored in Journalism. For the longest time, my own parents never understood why I liked it. For years, all I heard was:

     "Well, it'll do till something else comes along."

     or....

     "You can do better with your life. Get a factory job. Or what you went to college for."

     and on and on and on.

   
     It's hard to have pride in this kind of work when people look at you with that kind of attitude. And I'm a guy that loves this work. We are constantly looked down on. If there was a Respect Totem Pole, QSR employees would be at the bottom. Somewhere below telemarketers and child molesters.


     Restaurant work requires a lot of patience. The ability to have thick skin. The ability to maintain a good attitude on days when you don't want to maintain a good attitude. The ability to remember lots of things being thrown at you almost constantly, like constantly changing procedures; what goes on a sandwich; what the customer wants on a sandwich after he's changed his mind seven times; how much the price of a product is; how much the price of a product is without a bun, with extra bacon, extra cheese, and a french fry and you have to know now because the guy ordering has exactly $3.46 to spend and you have a line full of people on their lunch break that need to get back to work.......

     But all we're doing is "flippin' burgers." We're all lazy. Unmotivated. Without options.

     And most QSR employees are high school kids and college kids needing the money. But some are husbands and wives who have lost their jobs and now struggle to make ends meet. Or they're like me. They like and believe in what they do.


      The work is hard and the pay is terrible. You start at, maybe, a couple of cents over minimum wage, working very often less than 40 hours a week. You're often bombarded by rude and uncaring customers who see you as less than dirt and you have to take it because you have no illusion that the customer is where the money comes from. No customers mean no sales. No sales means no money. No money means no work.

     Then, if you're lucky and you work hard, you get noticed and the company sees something in you and you might get promoted. And honestly, that's where the money is in this business.. But it takes effort and hard work to get there.

     And we make mistakes. But we do our best. We really do. And not all restaurants are the same, but most of them, and trust me not all, will happily fix it if they make a mistake. You spent your hard earned money on what you ordered. You trusted us to give you what you wanted. The way I see it you were a guest in my house and I dropped the ball and didn't make you happy.

     And it's not just Quick Service Restaurants. It's the higher end sit-down places. The cooks and servers alike. We all make mistakes. We really do respect our customers and we just want to do a good job.

     And now I'm an Assistant Manager. 3rd in the command chain. Not only do I do paperwork and manage shifts and other responsibilities, but I have to keep my crew motivated and happy in spite of all the obstacles I just mentioned.

     It's not easy. But we do it.

     Smile at us from time to time. Talk to us. Laugh and joke with us. If we did good, let us know. If we didn't, let us know so we can do better next time.

     This work is harder than anyone actually thinks and anyone who says they can do it, no problem, I'm challenging you now. A lot goes into good service.

     Sometimes we mess up.

     Just be patient with us. And be kind. Please.

   
   
   
 

The Amazing Average-Guy and The Madagascar Debacle

     So yesterday, I had my second date with my high school crush, Jodie, all growed up and gorgeous. Which went very well, actually, I think. I'll keep you posted.

     Anyway....

     She is a fan of the Madagascar series of movies, so we talked about seeing the third Madagascar movie. You know those movies, right? They're pretty popular. Alex the lion (voiced by one of my favorites, Ben Stiller), Marty the zebra, Gloria the hippo, and Melman, the hypochondriac giraffe. And the penguins. Can't forget the penguins. After Marty wants to experience the wild, pampered and spoiled New York City zoo animal Alex and crew find themselves shipped off to far off Madagascar where they find things aren't as easy in the city.

     Part 2 finds the gang in Africa after a failed attempt to get home, where they get involved in their own individual adventures.


     Totally dedicated to showing her a good time, I agreed to seeing the exploits of Alex and the gang as they are pursued across Europe in this new installment. I'm all for it. There's just one... small... problem. I hadn't seen the other two. I know, right?! She pretty much couldn't believe it either. So, ever so graciously, she agreed to introduce me to the world of Madagascar. So we skipped the third film and watched Madagascar 1 and 2. I liked them. I definitely want to see the third one. Those penguins crack me up.

     The whole Madagascar Debacle, as it will heretofore be known, got me thinking. There are a lot of kid-type movies that I haven't seen. Stuff I really should have seen. I mean, I'm a comic book nerd and card-carrying dork! I love cartoons! So, we compiled a list of popular kids movies I haven't seen that I'm going to make an effort to see this year. Try not to be too surprised. They are:

1. Kung Fu Panda 2. I saw KFP 1 and loved it. Just haven't managed to see 2. But it's actually on my DVR so I will get around to it.
2. Shrek 2 and 3. I actually didn't like Shrek that much, but I'm willing to go back and watch them and give it another try.
3. Puss In Boots. Funny, I hear, but a Shrek spinoff.  Still, I could give it a try.
4. Cars and Cars 2. Yes, I know they're popular and awesome but I can't make myself get interested in a film about talking cars. There's a scene in the movie where Lightning McQueen is driving past a field full of lettuce or cabbage or something. Why does a world full of cars need lettuce? I can't get past that. But, it's on the list. Actually, I may just hold off on these until Pixar decides to give me a sequel to The Incredibles. Call it a strike. Or a boycott. 
5. Rango. Although reviews say it's really not kid-friendly. 
6. The Little Mermaid. Shut it. Don't judge. 
7. Toy Story 2 and 3. I saw Toy Story and it's one of my favorites but the sequels passed me by. I see a pattern emerging with sequels.
8. The Tale of Despereaux  This one I can't explain. I wanted to see it but it escaped my attention.
9. Open Season I haven't seen any of these, which is odd. I think they were coming out at the same time Hoodwinked and Hoodwinked 2 came out. Now those were great. 
10. Wall*E. This one just didn't interest me. It could be that I'm really very upset about my sequel to The Incredibles.
11. A Bug's Life. Another Pixar film. Yep. Definitely a pattern forming.
12. Ice Age. Nope. These either.

     So there you have it. Pretty lame indeed. And I'm sure there are more. And I can add Madagascar 3 to this list, too. That will be soon. I've definitely become a fan of Alex and the gang.

     If you've seen any of the above movies, let me know what you thought about them. I need all the reviews I can get. And what do you guys think about an Incredibles sequel? Why do I have 3 Toy Story films and 2 Cars films but I can't get a sequel to The Incredibles? Tragic! Tragic, I say.



     Before I turn the lights off here, I'd like to ask you guys to check out the video below, if you have a couple of minutes to spare. My friend Teri's niece, who is in the video and is the thin one with the blondish-brown hair, and one of her friends made this for a chance to have it shown on Ellen DeGeneres' show. If you watch it and you like it, please share it. The girls want it to go viral and I told them I'd help make that happen. The link is posted below. The video is freakin' hilarious and definitely worth your time. Thanks for your help.

     Have a great week.

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=31K23kkQIIc

The Amazing Average-Guy Goes Back In Time: Epilogue

     Well guess what? I didn't have to go back in time to accomplish at least one thing on my list. Remember the first one about my high school crush? Well, to my horror/shock/surprise, she told me she reads my blog. So we talked for a bit and after much shoe-shuffling and awkwardness, I asked her out. I guess she felt sorry for me because she said "yes." :-)

     So I had a fantastic time with a beautiful woman and didn't need a DeLorean to do it.

     Not too shabby, kid. Not too shabby. Sometimes even the dorks win out. 

     By the way, "Snow White and the Huntsman" was great. You should check it out.

      

The Amazing Average-Guy Goes Back In Time

                                                      Anybody remember this gem?

     Do you ever wish you could go back in time, maybe back to high school, and fix some things? Maybe slap your younger self around and yell, "What the @#$% are you doing!?" Tweak here and there? Fix those mistakes?

     I've found myself thinking about that quite a bit this past week. And it gave me an idea for something for us to talk about.


                                    10 Things I Would Do With A Time-Traveling DeLorean

1. I would travel back to 1988 and tell my past self to ask Jodie Pendergrass out on a date.

     I had had a wicked crush on her ever since the 8th grade. She was popular and I was a nerd and the crush really only got worse as I got older. I really wanted to ask her out but nerds just didn't ask the popular girls out. I'm pretty sure there were rules about that kind of thing. I hear she got married and became a teacher. If she reads this I'll be mortified, but there's no taking it back now.....

     2. While I was in 1988, I would make my past self finish college.

     Growing up, I wanted to be a cross between Irwin Fletcher and Carl Kolchak, both great investigative reporters. I majored in journalism in college but I very foolishly took a year off to work, found that I enjoyed making money, and never went back. But the news bug is still in me. I truly regret it. I need to go back. I just don't want to tangle with werewolves or vampires.

     3. Next stop, 1997. I would stop myself from getting married.


     My marriage was miserable. I ignored the constant warnings of friends but I took the plunge anyway. After we married, it was as if someone had flipped a switch on her back. She quit her job, she refused to work, got involved with drugs and ended up cheating on me. It lasted 2 years and I was happy it was over. We did have 2 beautiful kids, though. If there was some way to keep them in the timeline after I went back and got rid of her.....

     4.  I would travel back to the late 1700s to experience Colonial America.


     Colonial America is my favorite period of history. The bravery and strength of our forefathers to stand against a powerful tyrant against overwhelming odds and risking literally everything.... That will always be amazing to me.

     5.  I would buy stock in certain fledgling corporations. IBM, Microsoft.....


     I would totally pull a Marty McFly on this one. Ensure my comfort in the present. Not like Biff Tannen did. Just to make sure I had a nice car, a house, and give Jodie Pendergrass and our kids a good life. :-)

     6.  I would travel to 1963 to see the Kennedy Assassination. 


     I just want to clear the mystery up. If you've read Stephen King's "11/22/63".... well... I won't leave spoilers.

     7.  I would go back to the 1940s. 


     Maybe with what I knew, the Allies could stop Hitler sooner and prevent Pearl Harbor. And I could read the first Captain America comics.

     8.  Travel back to September 11, 2001. 


     Maybe with what I knew, I could intercept the first group of terrorists thereby stopping the others.

     9.  I would travel forward to see what the future would be like. Check in on the kids.

    10. A final jaunt to 1938, then forward to 1963.


     In September 1938, Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster released Action Comics #1. For the non-comic book readers, this is the first appearance of Superman. The Holy Grail of comics enthusiasts and worth millions of dollars in auction. 1963 gave us the birth of the Marvel Comics Universe. Fantastic Four, The Amazing Spider-Man and the X-Men all came out with their first issues that year. I would have them.




     And there you have it. Ten things I would do if I could travel through time. As always, I encourage you to leave comments. What would you do with a time-traveling DeLorean?

     But before I go.... it could be said that preventing my marriage and the events leading up to it would have also prevented me from having my awesome children. And you'd be right. Be happy with who you are. Try not to regret much. Learn from the mistakes. As much pain and suffering as my marriage caused me, I did indeed get two fantastic kids out of it. And if preventing anything took them away from me... I'd just live it all again for them.


     This is the book I mentioned above. Fantastic read, by the way. No spoilers.

 

     Okay. I'm turning out the lights here in the Average Lair. Have a great week.

     See you next Monday.