The Amazing Average-Guy and The Perfect Woman: Part One

     Hey, Gang. Before we talk, I just want to remind everyone to take a moment today during our reunions and get-togethers and parties and such and thank our veterans... our heroes... for their efforts and their sacrifices in giving us this way of life. We live in a fantastic and exceptional country and, as Thomas Jefferson once said, "The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants."

     If you are one of the defenders of my home, past or present, you are welcome here anytime and I salute you.

     So. Guys. What do you find attractive in a woman? What do you look for first? What's more important? Looks or personality? Skinny, heavy or somewhere in the middle? Or all three?

I was having some trouble this week trying to find something interesting for us to talk about. My job as an assistant manager of a successful restaurant has kept me busy, what with school out for the summer and that coinciding with Memorial Day weekend and the start of the summer traveling season. I wasn't able to take a day and see what's going on around me and acquire some stories or topics. So I asked for some help on my Facebook page for something to share. A friend of mine immediately tossed out the idea of sharing my opinions of what a man finds attractive in a woman.

     I will confess to being very humbled and honored by this request. I don't know if I am qualified to speak on behalf of my gender but I will do my best.

    You will notice that the title says this is "Part One." Because I'm certain I'll be revisiting this topic in the future.

     What does a man find beautiful and attractive in a woman? I can tell you what I think and I will in a moment. I actually tried to do some research on this. Not as much as I'd have liked but I'll be better prepared in Part Two.

     A definitive response to this is most likely impossible. Every man has his own strengths and his own issues and insecurities. Men also go through different stages of life. We may like the bad, trashy girl when we're teenagers, then wise up and want the down-to-earth, caring woman in our twenties and upward. Here are some of the answers my research has netted me.

• Men look for health. Physical, psychological, emotional, fiscal.
• Men look for the outward appearance of physical health. Good personal hygiene.
• Men want someone beautiful, but, we objectively know what this is. Different strokes for different folks. A Discovery health program stated that men overwhelmingly are attracted to women who have a 70% ratio from waist to hips. Meaning waist is 70% size of hips. Another online survey discovered that men preferred women with a mid-to-heavy body size instead of those whose curves bare more bone than fat. It is also interesting to note that this is an immediate indicator of health. I can personally agree with this. I like a woman who ain't afraid to eat. Just sayin'.
• Men want a woman who is honest, who he can trust completely, who is not likely to sneak around and sleep with other guys. I can also personally agree with this.
• Men want a woman who will make an effort to please him. This does not fall under the category of "GET ME A SANDWICH, WOMAN!!!!" But we know when you care and want to make us happy the same way we want to make you happy. 
• Men want a woman to appreciate what he does for a living. For a long time, I was uncomfortable with what I did because the woman I was dating had a much classier job than mine. We can't all be doctors and lawyers. Sometimes we're just damn fine Assistant Managers and we work hard at it. And we just want to be respected.
• Men want a best friend. A partner for life and for our souls. Someone to laugh with, share problems with and be completely stupid around.
• Men want someone who will have faith in him.
• Men want a woman who is independent and strong, yet sometimes submissive.
• Men want someone with a sense of humor.
• Men want interdependence, so that you trust and need each other.
• Men want a woman who has a great smile and a positive attitude and loves to laugh and be herself but can also be intelligent and serious.
• And what do men find beautiful as far as looks? When it comes to physical attributes, the eyes have it.  Personally, for me... the lips.

     These are most but not all of the things I gathered. It is also interesting to note that while an average body size turned heads, it was actually a woman's personality men considered beautiful the most. And I agree with that. We also tend to think that a woman with self-confidence, as well as being kind, caring, and sincere is beautiful, as well as a woman who is willing to listen and engage in conversation with us.

     Ask any guy and you may very well be surprised to learn that those perfect bodies and skinny runway models are far from his dream girl.

    I can personally add some more that didn't make the list.

1. Don't try and change us into what you want us to be.. I'm a dork. Card-carrying. I get excited about comics and superheroes and Star Wars. Sometimes vocally. I dated a woman once who didn't like that. Wanted me to "tone it down" and "stop being so childish". We're not together anymore. 
2. Men like to be the hero. You're independent and you can move the world all by yourself. We get it. But sometimes... not every time but sometimes.... let us move the world for you.
3. Be supportive, even if we have 12 different ideas for blogs and we can't decide which one is the better one. :-)

     Now.... my personal opinion. What does Michael a.k.a. The Average-Guy find attractive?

     As above, someone I can trust without question, someone with more hips and less bone and who isn't afraid to eat. Someone who is kind and sincere and cares about what I think and respects what I do for a living. Someone who can laugh at themselves and who can make me laugh. Someone who will let me be me and not be embarrassed by it. A strong, independent woman who will let me be her hero every once in a while. Someone who will be supportive of what I do, even if I fail at it. Because she will pick me up and dust me off and say, "Okay. You'll get it next time." And someone who will be my best friend and let me be hers. Partners. Teammates. Someone who needs me as much as I need her. She doesn't have to be gorgeous. She just has to care. 

Everyone's idea of perfect is different. You can't please everyone so don't even try. Be yourself. Love yourself. Take it from me, there is a man out there who needs exactly what you have. Don't settle. Never settle. And don't take crap. If he doesn't love you the way you deserve, cut him loose. Because you'll never find that gem as long as you're content with that piece of concrete you're carrying around.

     And as always, I encourage you to leave comments and opinions. We're just friends talking here. Anything on the above list I missed? There will be a Part Two to this, I guarantee.

   
My brief research came from http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_do_men_look_for_in_a_woman if you want to see the bullet points I didn't list.

     

     Okay. I'm turning out the lights here in the Average Lair. Have a safe and happy and safe and safe Memorial Day. 

     See you guys next week.