The Amazing Average-Guy Goes Back In Time

                                                      Anybody remember this gem?

     Do you ever wish you could go back in time, maybe back to high school, and fix some things? Maybe slap your younger self around and yell, "What the @#$% are you doing!?" Tweak here and there? Fix those mistakes?

     I've found myself thinking about that quite a bit this past week. And it gave me an idea for something for us to talk about.


                                    10 Things I Would Do With A Time-Traveling DeLorean

1. I would travel back to 1988 and tell my past self to ask Jodie Pendergrass out on a date.

     I had had a wicked crush on her ever since the 8th grade. She was popular and I was a nerd and the crush really only got worse as I got older. I really wanted to ask her out but nerds just didn't ask the popular girls out. I'm pretty sure there were rules about that kind of thing. I hear she got married and became a teacher. If she reads this I'll be mortified, but there's no taking it back now.....

     2. While I was in 1988, I would make my past self finish college.

     Growing up, I wanted to be a cross between Irwin Fletcher and Carl Kolchak, both great investigative reporters. I majored in journalism in college but I very foolishly took a year off to work, found that I enjoyed making money, and never went back. But the news bug is still in me. I truly regret it. I need to go back. I just don't want to tangle with werewolves or vampires.

     3. Next stop, 1997. I would stop myself from getting married.


     My marriage was miserable. I ignored the constant warnings of friends but I took the plunge anyway. After we married, it was as if someone had flipped a switch on her back. She quit her job, she refused to work, got involved with drugs and ended up cheating on me. It lasted 2 years and I was happy it was over. We did have 2 beautiful kids, though. If there was some way to keep them in the timeline after I went back and got rid of her.....

     4.  I would travel back to the late 1700s to experience Colonial America.


     Colonial America is my favorite period of history. The bravery and strength of our forefathers to stand against a powerful tyrant against overwhelming odds and risking literally everything.... That will always be amazing to me.

     5.  I would buy stock in certain fledgling corporations. IBM, Microsoft.....


     I would totally pull a Marty McFly on this one. Ensure my comfort in the present. Not like Biff Tannen did. Just to make sure I had a nice car, a house, and give Jodie Pendergrass and our kids a good life. :-)

     6.  I would travel to 1963 to see the Kennedy Assassination. 


     I just want to clear the mystery up. If you've read Stephen King's "11/22/63".... well... I won't leave spoilers.

     7.  I would go back to the 1940s. 


     Maybe with what I knew, the Allies could stop Hitler sooner and prevent Pearl Harbor. And I could read the first Captain America comics.

     8.  Travel back to September 11, 2001. 


     Maybe with what I knew, I could intercept the first group of terrorists thereby stopping the others.

     9.  I would travel forward to see what the future would be like. Check in on the kids.

    10. A final jaunt to 1938, then forward to 1963.


     In September 1938, Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster released Action Comics #1. For the non-comic book readers, this is the first appearance of Superman. The Holy Grail of comics enthusiasts and worth millions of dollars in auction. 1963 gave us the birth of the Marvel Comics Universe. Fantastic Four, The Amazing Spider-Man and the X-Men all came out with their first issues that year. I would have them.




     And there you have it. Ten things I would do if I could travel through time. As always, I encourage you to leave comments. What would you do with a time-traveling DeLorean?

     But before I go.... it could be said that preventing my marriage and the events leading up to it would have also prevented me from having my awesome children. And you'd be right. Be happy with who you are. Try not to regret much. Learn from the mistakes. As much pain and suffering as my marriage caused me, I did indeed get two fantastic kids out of it. And if preventing anything took them away from me... I'd just live it all again for them.


     This is the book I mentioned above. Fantastic read, by the way. No spoilers.

 

     Okay. I'm turning out the lights here in the Average Lair. Have a great week.

     See you next Monday.